Bad Monkey: 22 Best and Iconic Quotes From This TV Series

There is great news for fans of black comedy-drama television series. On August 14, a TV series called Bad Monkey is coming to Apple TV+, starring Vince Vaughn. After watching the trailer on YouTube and learning a bit about the story, it seems this adaptation of the 2013 novel of the same name is going to be quite thrilling.

Based on Carl Hiaasen’s novel Bad Monkey, the story follows the character Andrew Yancy, who gets demoted from the Miami PD and is made a restaurant inspector. The biggest twist in Andrew’s life comes when a tourist finds a human arm. Now, you might think that being the protagonist, he would try to solve this case, but the exact opposite happens, as he gets wrapped up in greed and corruption following this incident. What happens next? You’ll have to watch Bad Monkey to find out, and this journey is going to be quite entertaining for you.

In Bad Monkey, you will not only get to experience a brilliant comedy crime thriller but also enjoy many funny quotes and dialogues that will make your experience with this television series even more amazing. Today, we will take a look at some of these excellent quotes.

Bad Monkey: Hilarious and Amazing Quotes

1. On a scale from 1 to 10, how screwed am I?
A million.
You don’t think I’d understand that ten is bad?

2. I’m suspended. I’m technically not even a detective anymore. They said I was consistently reckless inappropriate, and glib.

3. Why can’t you just hide me on a desk in here or something? Wouldn’t even be doing any real work. I’d just be checking the websites I like.

4. You want your job back. I’ve got something that the sheriff wants you to drive to Miami.

5. The arm? That’s all they found?
Nah, man… the head’s in the passenger seat.

6. If you’re too grouchy to answer the question, just say, “I’m too grouchy to answer the question.”
You don’t have to hit me with the head in the passenger seat.

7. When did you learn Nick was missing?
I was in Paris. It was a birthday present from him. So are these.
Fancy.
(Whispering) They’re only ten grand.
Why are we whispering?
I don’t know.

8. What if this wasn’t an accident? I’m telling you, she was trying very hard to cry.

9. What are you doing? You’re not a cop. Leave it alone.

10. I can’t get involved in this.
You’re the one that got me involved.
Oh, you wanna stop being polite and start getting real?
Is that the intro to “The Real World”?
In my defense, I thought you were too young to know that.

11. Inspector Yancy. I have a few questions.
What time is it?
Just past… uh, bathrobe time. So you’re still good.

12. Okay. I want a lot of immunity.
Well, how about just a normal amount of immunity?
No, it’s gotta be A LOT a lot.

13. I have it on good authority that Eve is in the Bahamas to “grieve.”

14. I really need to find her.
Go talk to the Dragon Queen.

15. None of this is gonna go the way you want it to.

16. So who’s this guy?
He’s a little older, talks WAY too much and his ex-girlfriend is a criminal.

17. This guy’s as dirty as a sock on the highway.
That’s not a real expression.
None of them are real expressions until someone says them, okay? So, I’m a ground breaker.

18. My gut is telling me that there’s somebody who’s keeping an eye on me because of what I know, but I really don’t know what I know.

19. I have a plan.
No, you don’t!
I’m gonna make a plan the second you leave.

20. All kinds of bad people getting in the water now.

21. I’m in a bit of a jam here.
Dude! You’re a murder suspect.
Maybe it’s even a pickle.

22. Your place is a rat trap! Why don’t you get a cat?!
I have one right here!
Yeah, then buy a tiger!
You can’t get tigers in Florida, idiot!
There was a documentary about it, dumbass!

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Along with Vince Vaughn, you will also see outstanding acting stars like Michelle Monaghan, Jodie Turner-Smith, and Natalie Martinez in Bad Monkey web series.

Watch Bad Monkey on Apple TV+